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If You Can't Respect, That Your Whole Perspective Is Whack...
Maybe You'll Love Me When I Fade to Black
Created on 2004-01-07 13:46:53 (#1815770), last updated 2005-05-14
115 comments received, 127 comments posted
Basic Account [Gift]
146 Journal Entries, 0 Tags, 0 Memories, 0 Virtual Gifts, 3 Userpics
Basic Info| Name: | Karalita |
|---|---|
| Birthdate: | 01-10 |
| Location: | Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, United States |
BioWORD
These Quotes... I like them
~Your styles' like dyin' in my sleep... I don't feel it *Eminem*~
~The Wolf: You guys look like... What do they look like, Jimmie?
Jimmie: Dorks. They look like a couple of dorks.
Jules: Ha-ha-ha. They're your clothes, motherfucker. *Pulp Fiction*~
~[Joe counts the tip and finds it is a buck short]
Joe: Hey, who didn't throw in?
Mr. Orange: Mr. Pink.
Joe: Mr. Pink? Why not?
Mr. Orange: He don't tip.
Joe: He don't tip? Whaddaya mean you don't tip?
Mr. Orange: He don't believe in it.
Joe: Shut up! *Reservoir Dogs*~
~Mr. Pink: He seems okay now, but he was crazy in the store.
Mr. White: This is what he was doing.
[Mimics randomly shooting innocent bystanders]
Mr. White: Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam.
Mr. Blonde: Yeah, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. I told 'em not to touch the alarm, they touched it. If they hadn't done what I told 'em not to do, they'd still be alive today.
Mr. White: [clapping] My fucking hero.
Mr. Blonde: Thanks.
Mr. White: That's your excuse for going on a kill-crazy rampage?
Mr. Blonde: I don't like alarms, Mr. White. *Reservoir Dogs*~
~Ordell Robbie: AK-47. When you absolutely, positively got to kill every motherfucker in the room, accept no substitutes. *Jackie Brown*~
~Love is... what i got *Sublime*~
~"But the people highest up got the lowest self esteem
The prettiest people do the ugliest things
For the road to riches and diamond rings
We shine because they hate us, floss cause they degrade us. *Kanye West*~
~Sometimes i look at myself and i cannot believe how truely awesome I am!!! *ME*~
~I sell ice in the winter, I sell fire in Hell, I am a hustla baby, I sell water to a well *jay-z*
and now for the tirade of arrested development quotes...
Complaining about a gay boat protest upstaging her husband's retirement party]
Lucille : Everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant. It just makes me want to set myself on fire.
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Lindsay Funke : You know, we're not the only ones destroying trees. What about beavers? You call yourself an environmentalist, why don't you go club a few beavers?
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[after Michael takes away a frozen Bluth banana from George]
Lucille : How much could a banana cost? Ten dollars?
Michael : You've never been to a supermarket, have you?
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Lucille : Everyone's laughing, and riding, and cornholing except Buster.
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George Sr. : Daddy horny, Michael.
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[George Michael is trying to explain to his uncle why he cannot take off a muscle suit]
George Michael Bluth : I just can't take it off. You'll never understand.
Tobias Funke: I'll never understand?
[He disrobes]
Tobias Funke: Oh, I understand... more than you'll never know.
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[Lucille is trying to convince Michael to take Buster off her hands]
Michael Bluth : Okay, he can hang out, but he's going to work. This is not going to be a day at the beach.
[the camera pans out to show that Buster's wearing beach clothes]
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Michael : We can't let my mother see you until she gets in here.
Wayne: Fine then, I shall hide behind the couch.
Michael : What a professional.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[At the fair]
Michael : We can't let dad see you here with him.
Wayne: I shall hide behind that trashcan.
Michael : What a professional.
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Michael : Hey mom, there is a bowl of candy waiting in my office.
[Lucille enters and while the door is closing]
Wayne: I have a legal responsibility to tell you that there is NO candy in here.
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[Learning Michael burned down the Banana Stand]
George: I had $250, 000 lining the inside walls.
Michael : Why didn't you tell me.
George: What the hell did you think I meant when I said that "there is always money in the Banana Stand. "
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[Michael is asked to take over the family business]
Michael : I'm moving to Phoenix. I got a job.
[There is an awkward silence]
Michael : Something you apply for and they pay you to... Never mind, I don't want to ruin the surprise.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[after Lucille gives Maeby a jeweled elephant brooch that Lindsay was supposed to inhereit]
Lindsay Funke : That was supposed to be mine.
Lucille Bluth : I would have given it to you, but I didn't want to invite the comparison.
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[Lindsay commenting on her stance against circumcision]
Lindsay Funke : I think it's frightening when it's cut off. It's like a Doberman - let it have its ears.
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[after being declined entrance in to a high end restaurant]
Lindsay Funke : Let's just go, I've suddenly lost my appetite.
Lucille Bluth : That's hard to believe.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[after the publicist has just told the family that Michael is the most likeable member of the family]
Publicist: There are very few intelligent, attractive and straight men in this town.
Tobias Funke: Well, that leaves me out.
[Silence, everyone stares]
Tobias Funke: She did say single, right? I-I-I thought she said single.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Maeby Funke: You and I are so different. It's like we're not even related.
[She leaves]
George Michael Bluth : That would be amazing.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Buster : We're excavating a pterodactyl.
[plainly shows a human skull; Buster accidentally hits and breaks it with a hammer]
Buster : That was 90% gravity.
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Lucille Bluth : Did that Mexican girlfriend of yours kick you out.
Gob : No, she didn't, and plus she's not Mexican, she's Colombian or something.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Buster : No mother, I can blow myself. You've interfered for the last time.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lindsay : Michael, if this is a lecture on how we're all supposed to whatever and blah-blah-blah, well, you can save it, because we all know it by heart.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Gob is leaving his and Marta's house]
Marta : Te Quiero.
Gob : English, please.
Marta : I love you.
Gob : Great, now I'm late.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[repeated line]
Gob : I've made a huge mistake.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gob : My gut is telling me no... but my gut is also very hungry.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[as cops surround the docks and start shooting at drug dealers while fake stripper cops cower nearby]
Drug Dealer: You set us up!
Gob : No! These are the strippers! Look how hot they are!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Armless man: Oh my god! My arm!
Michael : Oh my god, this guy's arm!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[George Michael and Maeby are searching through the Bluth company files illegally]
George Michael : Fingerprints? You said they wouldn't be taking fingerprints!
Maeby : No, I said don't wear your mittens.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[re:Carl Weathers]
Lucille : Guess who's coming to dinner?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tobias: I want something that says..."Dad likes leather! "
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[giving a toast]
Michael : To Buster and Lucille...
Buster : Don't forget my girlfriend!
Michael : That's who I meant.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lindsey : Nana's fine, she's been dead for six months.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[holding up a pair of cut-off jeans]
Tobias: I don't do nudity! Why do you think I wear these?
George Michael : I was never really clear on that.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
George Sr. : You should have seen the face he made when - well, he's my twin brother, I'll show you!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[on the phone]
George Michael : Hello, Bluth Company.
George Sr. : Talk me off, honey. Talk me off.
George Michael : Talk you off what, PopPop?
George Sr. : Oh, George Michael! I thought you were - when's that voice gonna drop? Put Kitty on the phone.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[answering the phone]
George Michael : [very quickly] Bluth-Company-George-Michael-speaking-not-Kitty.
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Annyong : Annyong.
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GOB Bluth: I'm a failure. I can't even fake the death of a stripper.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lucille : You tricked me.
Michael : I *deceived* you. "Tricked" makes it sound like we have a playful relationship.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[getting off the phone with George Sr]
Michael : What'd he say?
George Michael : Well, if I clean it up, it really isn't a sentence.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Gob has slept with a teacher he thought Michael liked]
Michael : Gob, Ms. Whitehead was the civics teacher. We both had her.
Gob : Yes we did, and now we're even.
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[Lindsay is trying to get rid of a replica of the Ten Commandments from the front of a courthouse]
Lindsay : I've always been passionate about the separation of church and state.
Michael : Oh, really? What are you going to do with them?
Lindsay : I don't know. Give 'em to a school!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Buster has shown up at his father's hearing with a mariachi band]
Lucille : Oh, for God's sake. He's out of the house for two days and he joins a gang.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Michael : What's the matter with you? Didn't you bag some woman you're never going to see again?
Gob : Well, I broke a couple of my own rules. She knows I'm Gob Bluth, and... we got married, and...
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Waitress: Plate or platter?
Lucille : I don't understand the question and I won't respond to it.
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Micheal: There's more to life than strippers and booze and buckets of blood. Why do you guys have buckets of blood?
Gob : It's not real blood. It's corn syrup and red dye... juice.
Buster : There's unlimited juice? This party is gonna be off the hook!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Michael Bluth : Why are you squeezing me with your body?
Lucille Bluth : It's a hug, Michael. I'm hugging you.
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Mae 'Maebe' Funke : It all adds up. He stole somebody's hair, made a wig, knocked out the guard, tunneled his way through a sewer line, and then stopped to get a candied apple on his way to Mexico!
George Michael Bluth : Of course!
[pause]
George Michael Bluth : You're mocking me.
Mae 'Maebe' Funke : Of course.
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George Bluth, Sr. : Michael, this is my brother! Do you know what it's like to have a sibling who has no source of income except for you?
Michael Bluth : Just one? No. No idea. It sounds wonderful, though.
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Wife of GOB : I'm in love with your brother-in-law.
George Oscar 'Gob' Bluth : You're in love with your own brother? The one in the army?
Wife of GOB : No. Your sister's husband.
George Oscar 'Gob' Bluth : Michael? Michael!
Wife of GOB : No. That your sister's brother.
George Oscar 'Gob' Bluth : You're in love with me? Me.
Wife of GOB : I'm in love with Tobias.
George Oscar 'Gob' Bluth : My brother-in-law?
Wife of GOB : I know it can never be, so I'm leaving. I'm enlisting in the army.
George Oscar 'Gob' Bluth : To be with your brother?
Wife of GOB : *No! *
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[flashback to George Sr. driving a younger Michael, Gob, and Buster]
George Sr. : We're out of milk. I could have got it earlier if someone would have left a note.
[suddenly he runs down J. Walter Weatherman and his fake arm comes off]
George Sr. : [poorly acting] Why? If someone had left a note, this innocent man would still have his arm! Why?
[the kids scream as Weatherman comes up to them]
J. Walter Weatherman : And that's why you always leave a note.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Michael : You taught me a lesson about not teaching lessons?
George Sr. : That was my last lesson.
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Gob : Where am I? Two-thirds of a hospital room?
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Gob : Are you Hermano?
Spanish actor: Como?
Gob : You're gonna be in a como, pal!
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Michael : You knew all along, didn't you?
George Michael : Sorta. One of the hot cops was my choir teacher.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gob : (smoking) It's cold out here.
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Michael : (about George Michael's test) A-?
George Michael : Are you proud of me?
Michael : Very proud... minus.
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Lindsay : [saying how stress can lead to drugs] ... like the stress you put on George Michael, even when he gets an A.
Michael : *Minus*, and he knows an A gets him ice cream.
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George Michael : (arguing with his math book) Dumb, dumb George Michael, dumb...
Michael : Hey, calm down there, you two; it's just a math problem.
George Michael : Yeah, but if I fail math then there goes my chances to get a good job and have a happy life full of hard work, like you always say, right Dad?
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Michael : (to George Michael) I want you to take the rest of the day off. Here's 20 bucks, buy something you don't need, be a kid, make mistakes, get in trouble.
Buster : Yes, make a mistake. Take 225 from me.
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Michael : Well, it's not like you made a commitment to her or anything.
Buster : No, not a commitment... but I did refer to it as "our nausea, " but that was when we were going at it pretty hot and heavy.
Michael : Well, now it's my nausea.
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Buster : [describing Lucille 2 as he saw her without glasses on] ... a darkish area with... points.
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Gob : Gilligan killed the Skipper - I mean, the stripper!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lucille : I don't want to leave Buster alone with all the J-U-I-C-E.
Buster : I can spell, Mother; you spelled juice.
Lucille : What a genius. Let's see you find it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Michael : We're gonna go on a fishing trip.
George Michael : Why? What did I do?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Michael : [to Lucille] You're giving the company to a guy who thought the blue part of a map was land?
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Gob : [whistling] I have some conditionsss...
Michael : Do you?
Gob : ...termsss... One condition and one term!
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[Gob has gotten George Michael to break in and steal company records]
George Sr. : You got my 14-year-old grandson do this?
Gob : Under 18 walks out clean.
George Sr. : Listen, um... there's a very strict "no touching policy" here. But, um... oh, what the hell, it's worth a week in the hot box.
[Hits Gob]
Prison guard: No touching!
George Sr. : You stupid ass.
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Michael : [in police car] What'd you do?
George Michael : Just trying to be a good guy.
Michael : Me too... let's go visit Pop-Pop.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Narrator : On the next Arrested Development, Buster moves to the kitchen.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[after letting Gob back into the magic Alliance]
Alliance member: How'd you find two Alliance-approved assistants so fast?
Gob : Oh, I just used my nephew and my girlfriend.
Alliance Member: You're out.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Maeby : [as Surely] No more BS! No more BS!
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Gob : Michael, you have a chance to save this family. Please, do the right thing here - string this blind girl along so that Dad doesn't have to pay his debt to society.
Barry: The solution to all our problems is staring you in the face and it can't even see you!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
George Michael : Say what you want about America - thirteen bucks can still get you a hell of a lot of mice!
Gob : Who said anything about America?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oscar : Your mother called me for a reason. I don't think she's happy.
Buster : No, my mother's happy! She's just mean all the time!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gob : Three guys hanging out together... what could be more butch than that?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Michael : So this is the Aztec Tomb trick.
Gob : Illusion, Michael. A trick is something a whore does for money...
[sees children watching his magic]
Gob : ... or candy!
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George Sr. : [explaining why he left the company to Lucille] They cannot charge a husband and wife for the same crime!
Michael : That's not true.
George Sr. : Really?
Michael : Yep.
George Sr. : [whispering] I got the worst fucking attorneys.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Michael Bluth : Do you know what they do to people who commit treason?
George Sr. : First time!
Michael Bluth : Second!
George Sr. : I got the worst fucking attorneys.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Maggie Lizer : I'm blind!
Michael : I'm wasted!
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Narrator : Tobias was a never nude, which is exactly what it sounds like.
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[a replica of the Ten Commandments has crashed on Barry's car]
Barry Zuckerkorn : Oh God, I am so sorry! I'll never make another mistake as long as I live!
[he notices the parking ticket on his car]
Barry Zuckerkorn : Well, the hell with that!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Michael : Tell me the truth. There's been a lot of lying in this family
Lucille : And a lot of love.
Michael : More lies.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Narrator : On the next Arrested Development, Barry receives a sign from God.
Barry Zuckerkorn : [Seeing a replica of the Ten Commandments on top of his car] I will obey your will, I will lead a good life!
[Sees a parking ticket on his car]
Barry Zuckerkorn : Well, to hell with this then!
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Michael Bluth : Mom wanted me to tell you she doesn't care whether you live or die, but if you're not dead, she would like to see you at the courthouse tomorrow in a blue sweater.
Buster : Dammit! I hate the blue sweater!
Michael Bluth : She said it would look nice with the gray pants.
Buster : Dammit! She's right!
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Barry Zuckerkorn : It would help if you all showed up, looking like a loving, supportive family.
Lucille : For how long?
Barry Zuckerkorn : Ten minutes.
Lucille : See if you can get it down to five.
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White Power Bill : [Stabbing Gob] White power!
Gob : I'm white!
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Michael : G. O. B. , you've found a woman who believes in you. You should make a commitment to her because life is short. Listen to me. I would give anything to be able to have that again, you know? A family. Nothing else matters.
Lucille : Michael?
Michael : It's Mom. Hide.
Gob : You brought up money earlier. I actually would like to borrow some.
Michael : No.
Lucille : Michael?
Gob : He's in here, Mom!
Michael : Come on!
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Lucille Bluth : I'll be in the hospital bar.
Michael Bluth : Uhh, you know, there isn't a hospital bar, mother.
Lucille Bluth : Well, this is why people hate hospitals.
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Lindsay Funke : I'm tired of trying to find happiness through lies and self-medicating. If you need me, I'll be at the bar.
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Wife of GOB : G. O. B. , I want out. I'm in love with your brother...
Gob : What?
[to Michael]
Gob : You did it again, you son of a bitch!
[Punches Michael]
Wife of GOB : ...In-law. Tobias. Sorry. I should have finished that thought.
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Michael : You want to be in charge?
Gob : Yeah.
Michael : You want to deal with what I deal with? A sister who takes your money and throws it away. A mother who you can't trust. A company whose founder may be on trial for treason. Is that what you want?
Gob : What kind of vacation time does it offer?
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Gob : Zero hour, Michael. It's the end of the line. I'm the firstborn. I'm sick of playing second fiddle. I'm always third in line for everything. I'm tired of finishing fourth. Being the fifth wheel. There are six things I'm mad about, and I'm taking over.
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Michael : [discussing evidence that links George Sr. to Saddam Hussain] If this information was so damaging, why didn't you just shred it?
George Sr. : Well, Saddam owed us money.
Michael : And you didn't realize that he wouldn't pay?
George Sr. : You mom had a good feeling about him.
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George Michael Bluth : [Michael wants to leave his family] I like the family. I mean, if we leave, who's gonna take care of these people?
Michael : I don't know. The state or the police. Maybe the Magician's Alliance will pick up some slack.
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Narrator : And that's when the family realized that George Sr. wasn't dead, but was fleeing the country that he loved so very much.
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Lindsay Funke : Barry, did you talk to a doctor?
Barry Zuckerkorn : I did. I have poison oak. Do you believe it? How the hell did I get that?
[Cut to a shot of a rest area]
Lucille Bluth : She was talking about George.
Barry Zuckerkorn : Oh, he's the same. Look, I guess we should decide on who's going to speak for the family. I would, but I have Laker tickets.
[Cut to a shot of the rest area]
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Lucille Bluth : You'd think a man locked up in prison would able to abstain. Your father with his disgusting tweaking. I couldn't breast feed any of you kids because of that man!
[Everyone cringes]
Barry Zuckerkorn : They still look fabulous.
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Lindsay Funke : I'm saying every time something starts to go well for you, you blow it.
Tobias Fünke : Nothing has ever gone well for me, and you know that.
Lindsay Funke : That's my point, you...
[sees Mabey]
Lindsay Funke : ... handsome cowboy, you.
Tobias Fünke : Oh, great. And now you're mocking me. You selfish coun-
[Notices Mabey]
Tobias Fünke : ... try music loving lady. Hello, Maeby.
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Buster : [about Lucille] It's like she gets off on being witholding.
Michael : Whoa. Buster.
Gob : Look who's got something to say.
Buster : [impersonating Lucille] I'm Mom and I want to shoot down everything you say so I feel good about myself.
[everyone laughs]
Gob : Look who's ragging on the old lady.
Buster : Cause I'm an uptight
[long bleep]
Buster : Buster
[Long bleep]
Buster : ... you old horny slut!
Michael : [pause] Well, no one's going to top that.
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Lucille : Oh, hello, Buster. Here's a candy bar. No, I'm withholding it. Look at me, "getting off. "
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Lucille : Look what they've done, Michael! Look what the homosexuals have done to me!
Michael : You can't just comb that out and reset it?
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Michael : I wonder how I can talk you out of ever making that face again.
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Lucille : If you're suggesting I play favorites, you're wrong. I love all of my children equally.
Lucille : [earlier that day] I don't care for Gob.
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Michael : I love you all, Marta.
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Michael : [on Buster's bike accident] You were flying today, buddy.
Buster : Yes, I was flying. But a little too close to the sun.
Lucille : You let him go in the sun?
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Gob : And as for Kitty, I think you're crazy to have fired her. Who knows what kind of information she has?
[flashback to after Gob and Kitty have sex]
Gob : He's my brother and he's never even said, "Good job. " I just want him to love me, you know?
Kitty : Wow, you get really girly after, huh?
Gob : [Back in the present] Yeah, she definitely knows way too much.
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Marta : [after Gob's magic trick scares some children] They're children! How could you do that?
Gob : Oh, sure, first you dump all over it, now you want to know how it's done!
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Gob : I was halfway to South America, but I couldn't let you get away with it, because we're brothers, Mom, and we kind of like each other.
Michael Bluth : You were going to South America?
Gob : I don't think so.
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Tobias Fünke : Do you see me more as the respected dramatic actor or more of the beloved comic actor?
Carl Weathers : Whoa, whoa, whoa. There's still plenty of meat on that bone. Now you take this home, throw it in a pot, add some broth, a potato. Baby, you've got a stew going.
Tobias Fünke : Yes, that's fine, but I would like to focus on my acting, Mr. Weathers. I did give you my last $1, 100.
Carl Weathers : Let me tell you a little story about acting. I was doing this Showtime movie, Hot Ice with Anne Archer, never once touched my per diem. I'd go to Craft Service, get some raw veggies, bacon, Cup-A-Soup... baby, I got a stew going.
Tobias Fünke : [pause] I think I'd like my money back.
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Narrator : As Gob was forced to send away someone he loved, George Sr. was forced to visit someone he had once tried to shove out of a moving car.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Narrator : On the next Arrested Development, Tobias gets a review of his Shakespeare play.
Tobias Fünke : I didn't get into this business to please sophomore Tracy Schwartzman, so... onward and upward. On...
Tobias Fünke : [Cut to Tobias crying in the shower] Why, Tracy? Why?
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[Barry has a hooker with him during "Take Your Daughter to Work Day"]
Michael : I didn't know you had a daughter.
Barry Zuckerkorn : I don't.
Charlotte : I thought you wanted me to call you Daddy.
Barry Zuckerkorn : Why don't you wait for Daddy in the car?
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[Buster reveals that he made George Michael get pot from Gob for him]
Buster : It-it's for my girlfriend. She's sick.
Gob : Why don't you just wait it out? She's gonna be gone soon.
Buster : Oh, that's it.
[starts hitting Gob]
Buster : Why are YOU hitting yourself? Why are YOU hitting yourself? Why are YOU hitting yourself?
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[George Sr. has been offered a plea bargain nobody has read]
Michael : All right, listen, this is all getting a little crazy. We cannot accept their conditions if we don't even know what their conditions are.
Barry Zuckerkorn : Do you want to read it?
Michael : No, it is thick. Why don't we just take it.
Barry Zuckerkorn : I could kiss you on the nuts!
Michael : Yeah, well... what?
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George Michael Bluth : So, uh, I've been thinking about that conversation we were having the other night about, uh, where Maeby came from. And uh, I was just wondering if you could finish that thought.
Tobias Fünke : Yes, okay, uh... well, have a seat. Uh... um... when a man... needs to prove to a woman that he's actua- when a man loves a woman, and he actually wants to make love, uh, to her, something very, very special happens. And with deep, deep concentration and, and great focus, he's often able to achieve an erec...
George Michael Bluth : I'm sorry, I'm going to stop you. I know what you mean. I, I didn't mean babies in general.
Tobias Fünke : Oh, well that's good. Because it was about to get a little, eh, gross.
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Marta : [to a fighting Michael and Gob] What is wrong with you? I thought you were good people. I thought you were noble. I thought you care about family, but you clearly don't. It's over. Both of you. It's over.
Buster : Wait, wait. What about... what about me?
Marta : I'm sorry, I'm not totally sure who you are.
Buster : Wow. Wow. That's what it feels like to get punched in the face.
Arrested Development is Dysfunctional Family love.
These Quotes... I like them
~Your styles' like dyin' in my sleep... I don't feel it *Eminem*~
~The Wolf: You guys look like... What do they look like, Jimmie?
Jimmie: Dorks. They look like a couple of dorks.
Jules: Ha-ha-ha. They're your clothes, motherfucker. *Pulp Fiction*~
~[Joe counts the tip and finds it is a buck short]
Joe: Hey, who didn't throw in?
Mr. Orange: Mr. Pink.
Joe: Mr. Pink? Why not?
Mr. Orange: He don't tip.
Joe: He don't tip? Whaddaya mean you don't tip?
Mr. Orange: He don't believe in it.
Joe: Shut up! *Reservoir Dogs*~
~Mr. Pink: He seems okay now, but he was crazy in the store.
Mr. White: This is what he was doing.
[Mimics randomly shooting innocent bystanders]
Mr. White: Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam.
Mr. Blonde: Yeah, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. I told 'em not to touch the alarm, they touched it. If they hadn't done what I told 'em not to do, they'd still be alive today.
Mr. White: [clapping] My fucking hero.
Mr. Blonde: Thanks.
Mr. White: That's your excuse for going on a kill-crazy rampage?
Mr. Blonde: I don't like alarms, Mr. White. *Reservoir Dogs*~
~Ordell Robbie: AK-47. When you absolutely, positively got to kill every motherfucker in the room, accept no substitutes. *Jackie Brown*~
~Love is... what i got *Sublime*~
~"But the people highest up got the lowest self esteem
The prettiest people do the ugliest things
For the road to riches and diamond rings
We shine because they hate us, floss cause they degrade us. *Kanye West*~
~Sometimes i look at myself and i cannot believe how truely awesome I am!!! *ME*~
~I sell ice in the winter, I sell fire in Hell, I am a hustla baby, I sell water to a well *jay-z*
and now for the tirade of arrested development quotes...
Complaining about a gay boat protest upstaging her husband's retirement party]
Lucille : Everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant. It just makes me want to set myself on fire.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lindsay Funke : You know, we're not the only ones destroying trees. What about beavers? You call yourself an environmentalist, why don't you go club a few beavers?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[after Michael takes away a frozen Bluth banana from George]
Lucille : How much could a banana cost? Ten dollars?
Michael : You've never been to a supermarket, have you?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lucille : Everyone's laughing, and riding, and cornholing except Buster.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
George Sr. : Daddy horny, Michael.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[George Michael is trying to explain to his uncle why he cannot take off a muscle suit]
George Michael Bluth : I just can't take it off. You'll never understand.
Tobias Funke: I'll never understand?
[He disrobes]
Tobias Funke: Oh, I understand... more than you'll never know.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Lucille is trying to convince Michael to take Buster off her hands]
Michael Bluth : Okay, he can hang out, but he's going to work. This is not going to be a day at the beach.
[the camera pans out to show that Buster's wearing beach clothes]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Michael : We can't let my mother see you until she gets in here.
Wayne: Fine then, I shall hide behind the couch.
Michael : What a professional.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[At the fair]
Michael : We can't let dad see you here with him.
Wayne: I shall hide behind that trashcan.
Michael : What a professional.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Michael : Hey mom, there is a bowl of candy waiting in my office.
[Lucille enters and while the door is closing]
Wayne: I have a legal responsibility to tell you that there is NO candy in here.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Learning Michael burned down the Banana Stand]
George: I had $250, 000 lining the inside walls.
Michael : Why didn't you tell me.
George: What the hell did you think I meant when I said that "there is always money in the Banana Stand. "
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Michael is asked to take over the family business]
Michael : I'm moving to Phoenix. I got a job.
[There is an awkward silence]
Michael : Something you apply for and they pay you to... Never mind, I don't want to ruin the surprise.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[after Lucille gives Maeby a jeweled elephant brooch that Lindsay was supposed to inhereit]
Lindsay Funke : That was supposed to be mine.
Lucille Bluth : I would have given it to you, but I didn't want to invite the comparison.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Lindsay commenting on her stance against circumcision]
Lindsay Funke : I think it's frightening when it's cut off. It's like a Doberman - let it have its ears.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[after being declined entrance in to a high end restaurant]
Lindsay Funke : Let's just go, I've suddenly lost my appetite.
Lucille Bluth : That's hard to believe.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[after the publicist has just told the family that Michael is the most likeable member of the family]
Publicist: There are very few intelligent, attractive and straight men in this town.
Tobias Funke: Well, that leaves me out.
[Silence, everyone stares]
Tobias Funke: She did say single, right? I-I-I thought she said single.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Maeby Funke: You and I are so different. It's like we're not even related.
[She leaves]
George Michael Bluth : That would be amazing.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Buster : We're excavating a pterodactyl.
[plainly shows a human skull; Buster accidentally hits and breaks it with a hammer]
Buster : That was 90% gravity.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lucille Bluth : Did that Mexican girlfriend of yours kick you out.
Gob : No, she didn't, and plus she's not Mexican, she's Colombian or something.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Buster : No mother, I can blow myself. You've interfered for the last time.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lindsay : Michael, if this is a lecture on how we're all supposed to whatever and blah-blah-blah, well, you can save it, because we all know it by heart.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Gob is leaving his and Marta's house]
Marta : Te Quiero.
Gob : English, please.
Marta : I love you.
Gob : Great, now I'm late.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[repeated line]
Gob : I've made a huge mistake.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gob : My gut is telling me no... but my gut is also very hungry.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[as cops surround the docks and start shooting at drug dealers while fake stripper cops cower nearby]
Drug Dealer: You set us up!
Gob : No! These are the strippers! Look how hot they are!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Armless man: Oh my god! My arm!
Michael : Oh my god, this guy's arm!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[George Michael and Maeby are searching through the Bluth company files illegally]
George Michael : Fingerprints? You said they wouldn't be taking fingerprints!
Maeby : No, I said don't wear your mittens.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[re:Carl Weathers]
Lucille : Guess who's coming to dinner?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tobias: I want something that says..."Dad likes leather! "
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[giving a toast]
Michael : To Buster and Lucille...
Buster : Don't forget my girlfriend!
Michael : That's who I meant.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lindsey : Nana's fine, she's been dead for six months.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[holding up a pair of cut-off jeans]
Tobias: I don't do nudity! Why do you think I wear these?
George Michael : I was never really clear on that.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
George Sr. : You should have seen the face he made when - well, he's my twin brother, I'll show you!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[on the phone]
George Michael : Hello, Bluth Company.
George Sr. : Talk me off, honey. Talk me off.
George Michael : Talk you off what, PopPop?
George Sr. : Oh, George Michael! I thought you were - when's that voice gonna drop? Put Kitty on the phone.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[answering the phone]
George Michael : [very quickly] Bluth-Company-George-Michael-speaking-not-Kitty.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Annyong : Annyong.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GOB Bluth: I'm a failure. I can't even fake the death of a stripper.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lucille : You tricked me.
Michael : I *deceived* you. "Tricked" makes it sound like we have a playful relationship.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[getting off the phone with George Sr]
Michael : What'd he say?
George Michael : Well, if I clean it up, it really isn't a sentence.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Gob has slept with a teacher he thought Michael liked]
Michael : Gob, Ms. Whitehead was the civics teacher. We both had her.
Gob : Yes we did, and now we're even.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Lindsay is trying to get rid of a replica of the Ten Commandments from the front of a courthouse]
Lindsay : I've always been passionate about the separation of church and state.
Michael : Oh, really? What are you going to do with them?
Lindsay : I don't know. Give 'em to a school!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Buster has shown up at his father's hearing with a mariachi band]
Lucille : Oh, for God's sake. He's out of the house for two days and he joins a gang.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Michael : What's the matter with you? Didn't you bag some woman you're never going to see again?
Gob : Well, I broke a couple of my own rules. She knows I'm Gob Bluth, and... we got married, and...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Waitress: Plate or platter?
Lucille : I don't understand the question and I won't respond to it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Micheal: There's more to life than strippers and booze and buckets of blood. Why do you guys have buckets of blood?
Gob : It's not real blood. It's corn syrup and red dye... juice.
Buster : There's unlimited juice? This party is gonna be off the hook!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Michael Bluth : Why are you squeezing me with your body?
Lucille Bluth : It's a hug, Michael. I'm hugging you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mae 'Maebe' Funke : It all adds up. He stole somebody's hair, made a wig, knocked out the guard, tunneled his way through a sewer line, and then stopped to get a candied apple on his way to Mexico!
George Michael Bluth : Of course!
[pause]
George Michael Bluth : You're mocking me.
Mae 'Maebe' Funke : Of course.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
George Bluth, Sr. : Michael, this is my brother! Do you know what it's like to have a sibling who has no source of income except for you?
Michael Bluth : Just one? No. No idea. It sounds wonderful, though.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wife of GOB : I'm in love with your brother-in-law.
George Oscar 'Gob' Bluth : You're in love with your own brother? The one in the army?
Wife of GOB : No. Your sister's husband.
George Oscar 'Gob' Bluth : Michael? Michael!
Wife of GOB : No. That your sister's brother.
George Oscar 'Gob' Bluth : You're in love with me? Me.
Wife of GOB : I'm in love with Tobias.
George Oscar 'Gob' Bluth : My brother-in-law?
Wife of GOB : I know it can never be, so I'm leaving. I'm enlisting in the army.
George Oscar 'Gob' Bluth : To be with your brother?
Wife of GOB : *No! *
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[flashback to George Sr. driving a younger Michael, Gob, and Buster]
George Sr. : We're out of milk. I could have got it earlier if someone would have left a note.
[suddenly he runs down J. Walter Weatherman and his fake arm comes off]
George Sr. : [poorly acting] Why? If someone had left a note, this innocent man would still have his arm! Why?
[the kids scream as Weatherman comes up to them]
J. Walter Weatherman : And that's why you always leave a note.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Michael : You taught me a lesson about not teaching lessons?
George Sr. : That was my last lesson.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gob : Where am I? Two-thirds of a hospital room?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gob : Are you Hermano?
Spanish actor: Como?
Gob : You're gonna be in a como, pal!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Michael : You knew all along, didn't you?
George Michael : Sorta. One of the hot cops was my choir teacher.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gob : (smoking) It's cold out here.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Michael : (about George Michael's test) A-?
George Michael : Are you proud of me?
Michael : Very proud... minus.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lindsay : [saying how stress can lead to drugs] ... like the stress you put on George Michael, even when he gets an A.
Michael : *Minus*, and he knows an A gets him ice cream.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
George Michael : (arguing with his math book) Dumb, dumb George Michael, dumb...
Michael : Hey, calm down there, you two; it's just a math problem.
George Michael : Yeah, but if I fail math then there goes my chances to get a good job and have a happy life full of hard work, like you always say, right Dad?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Michael : (to George Michael) I want you to take the rest of the day off. Here's 20 bucks, buy something you don't need, be a kid, make mistakes, get in trouble.
Buster : Yes, make a mistake. Take 225 from me.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Michael : Well, it's not like you made a commitment to her or anything.
Buster : No, not a commitment... but I did refer to it as "our nausea, " but that was when we were going at it pretty hot and heavy.
Michael : Well, now it's my nausea.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Buster : [describing Lucille 2 as he saw her without glasses on] ... a darkish area with... points.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gob : Gilligan killed the Skipper - I mean, the stripper!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lucille : I don't want to leave Buster alone with all the J-U-I-C-E.
Buster : I can spell, Mother; you spelled juice.
Lucille : What a genius. Let's see you find it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Michael : We're gonna go on a fishing trip.
George Michael : Why? What did I do?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Michael : [to Lucille] You're giving the company to a guy who thought the blue part of a map was land?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gob : [whistling] I have some conditionsss...
Michael : Do you?
Gob : ...termsss... One condition and one term!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Gob has gotten George Michael to break in and steal company records]
George Sr. : You got my 14-year-old grandson do this?
Gob : Under 18 walks out clean.
George Sr. : Listen, um... there's a very strict "no touching policy" here. But, um... oh, what the hell, it's worth a week in the hot box.
[Hits Gob]
Prison guard: No touching!
George Sr. : You stupid ass.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Michael : [in police car] What'd you do?
George Michael : Just trying to be a good guy.
Michael : Me too... let's go visit Pop-Pop.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Narrator : On the next Arrested Development, Buster moves to the kitchen.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[after letting Gob back into the magic Alliance]
Alliance member: How'd you find two Alliance-approved assistants so fast?
Gob : Oh, I just used my nephew and my girlfriend.
Alliance Member: You're out.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Maeby : [as Surely] No more BS! No more BS!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gob : Michael, you have a chance to save this family. Please, do the right thing here - string this blind girl along so that Dad doesn't have to pay his debt to society.
Barry: The solution to all our problems is staring you in the face and it can't even see you!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
George Michael : Say what you want about America - thirteen bucks can still get you a hell of a lot of mice!
Gob : Who said anything about America?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oscar : Your mother called me for a reason. I don't think she's happy.
Buster : No, my mother's happy! She's just mean all the time!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gob : Three guys hanging out together... what could be more butch than that?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Michael : So this is the Aztec Tomb trick.
Gob : Illusion, Michael. A trick is something a whore does for money...
[sees children watching his magic]
Gob : ... or candy!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
George Sr. : [explaining why he left the company to Lucille] They cannot charge a husband and wife for the same crime!
Michael : That's not true.
George Sr. : Really?
Michael : Yep.
George Sr. : [whispering] I got the worst fucking attorneys.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Michael Bluth : Do you know what they do to people who commit treason?
George Sr. : First time!
Michael Bluth : Second!
George Sr. : I got the worst fucking attorneys.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Maggie Lizer : I'm blind!
Michael : I'm wasted!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Narrator : Tobias was a never nude, which is exactly what it sounds like.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[a replica of the Ten Commandments has crashed on Barry's car]
Barry Zuckerkorn : Oh God, I am so sorry! I'll never make another mistake as long as I live!
[he notices the parking ticket on his car]
Barry Zuckerkorn : Well, the hell with that!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Michael : Tell me the truth. There's been a lot of lying in this family
Lucille : And a lot of love.
Michael : More lies.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Narrator : On the next Arrested Development, Barry receives a sign from God.
Barry Zuckerkorn : [Seeing a replica of the Ten Commandments on top of his car] I will obey your will, I will lead a good life!
[Sees a parking ticket on his car]
Barry Zuckerkorn : Well, to hell with this then!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Michael Bluth : Mom wanted me to tell you she doesn't care whether you live or die, but if you're not dead, she would like to see you at the courthouse tomorrow in a blue sweater.
Buster : Dammit! I hate the blue sweater!
Michael Bluth : She said it would look nice with the gray pants.
Buster : Dammit! She's right!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Barry Zuckerkorn : It would help if you all showed up, looking like a loving, supportive family.
Lucille : For how long?
Barry Zuckerkorn : Ten minutes.
Lucille : See if you can get it down to five.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
White Power Bill : [Stabbing Gob] White power!
Gob : I'm white!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Michael : G. O. B. , you've found a woman who believes in you. You should make a commitment to her because life is short. Listen to me. I would give anything to be able to have that again, you know? A family. Nothing else matters.
Lucille : Michael?
Michael : It's Mom. Hide.
Gob : You brought up money earlier. I actually would like to borrow some.
Michael : No.
Lucille : Michael?
Gob : He's in here, Mom!
Michael : Come on!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lucille Bluth : I'll be in the hospital bar.
Michael Bluth : Uhh, you know, there isn't a hospital bar, mother.
Lucille Bluth : Well, this is why people hate hospitals.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lindsay Funke : I'm tired of trying to find happiness through lies and self-medicating. If you need me, I'll be at the bar.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wife of GOB : G. O. B. , I want out. I'm in love with your brother...
Gob : What?
[to Michael]
Gob : You did it again, you son of a bitch!
[Punches Michael]
Wife of GOB : ...In-law. Tobias. Sorry. I should have finished that thought.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Michael : You want to be in charge?
Gob : Yeah.
Michael : You want to deal with what I deal with? A sister who takes your money and throws it away. A mother who you can't trust. A company whose founder may be on trial for treason. Is that what you want?
Gob : What kind of vacation time does it offer?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gob : Zero hour, Michael. It's the end of the line. I'm the firstborn. I'm sick of playing second fiddle. I'm always third in line for everything. I'm tired of finishing fourth. Being the fifth wheel. There are six things I'm mad about, and I'm taking over.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Michael : [discussing evidence that links George Sr. to Saddam Hussain] If this information was so damaging, why didn't you just shred it?
George Sr. : Well, Saddam owed us money.
Michael : And you didn't realize that he wouldn't pay?
George Sr. : You mom had a good feeling about him.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
George Michael Bluth : [Michael wants to leave his family] I like the family. I mean, if we leave, who's gonna take care of these people?
Michael : I don't know. The state or the police. Maybe the Magician's Alliance will pick up some slack.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Narrator : And that's when the family realized that George Sr. wasn't dead, but was fleeing the country that he loved so very much.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lindsay Funke : Barry, did you talk to a doctor?
Barry Zuckerkorn : I did. I have poison oak. Do you believe it? How the hell did I get that?
[Cut to a shot of a rest area]
Lucille Bluth : She was talking about George.
Barry Zuckerkorn : Oh, he's the same. Look, I guess we should decide on who's going to speak for the family. I would, but I have Laker tickets.
[Cut to a shot of the rest area]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lucille Bluth : You'd think a man locked up in prison would able to abstain. Your father with his disgusting tweaking. I couldn't breast feed any of you kids because of that man!
[Everyone cringes]
Barry Zuckerkorn : They still look fabulous.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lindsay Funke : I'm saying every time something starts to go well for you, you blow it.
Tobias Fünke : Nothing has ever gone well for me, and you know that.
Lindsay Funke : That's my point, you...
[sees Mabey]
Lindsay Funke : ... handsome cowboy, you.
Tobias Fünke : Oh, great. And now you're mocking me. You selfish coun-
[Notices Mabey]
Tobias Fünke : ... try music loving lady. Hello, Maeby.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Buster : [about Lucille] It's like she gets off on being witholding.
Michael : Whoa. Buster.
Gob : Look who's got something to say.
Buster : [impersonating Lucille] I'm Mom and I want to shoot down everything you say so I feel good about myself.
[everyone laughs]
Gob : Look who's ragging on the old lady.
Buster : Cause I'm an uptight
[long bleep]
Buster : Buster
[Long bleep]
Buster : ... you old horny slut!
Michael : [pause] Well, no one's going to top that.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lucille : Oh, hello, Buster. Here's a candy bar. No, I'm withholding it. Look at me, "getting off. "
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lucille : Look what they've done, Michael! Look what the homosexuals have done to me!
Michael : You can't just comb that out and reset it?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Michael : I wonder how I can talk you out of ever making that face again.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lucille : If you're suggesting I play favorites, you're wrong. I love all of my children equally.
Lucille : [earlier that day] I don't care for Gob.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Michael : I love you all, Marta.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Michael : [on Buster's bike accident] You were flying today, buddy.
Buster : Yes, I was flying. But a little too close to the sun.
Lucille : You let him go in the sun?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gob : And as for Kitty, I think you're crazy to have fired her. Who knows what kind of information she has?
[flashback to after Gob and Kitty have sex]
Gob : He's my brother and he's never even said, "Good job. " I just want him to love me, you know?
Kitty : Wow, you get really girly after, huh?
Gob : [Back in the present] Yeah, she definitely knows way too much.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marta : [after Gob's magic trick scares some children] They're children! How could you do that?
Gob : Oh, sure, first you dump all over it, now you want to know how it's done!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Gob : I was halfway to South America, but I couldn't let you get away with it, because we're brothers, Mom, and we kind of like each other.
Michael Bluth : You were going to South America?
Gob : I don't think so.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tobias Fünke : Do you see me more as the respected dramatic actor or more of the beloved comic actor?
Carl Weathers : Whoa, whoa, whoa. There's still plenty of meat on that bone. Now you take this home, throw it in a pot, add some broth, a potato. Baby, you've got a stew going.
Tobias Fünke : Yes, that's fine, but I would like to focus on my acting, Mr. Weathers. I did give you my last $1, 100.
Carl Weathers : Let me tell you a little story about acting. I was doing this Showtime movie, Hot Ice with Anne Archer, never once touched my per diem. I'd go to Craft Service, get some raw veggies, bacon, Cup-A-Soup... baby, I got a stew going.
Tobias Fünke : [pause] I think I'd like my money back.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Narrator : As Gob was forced to send away someone he loved, George Sr. was forced to visit someone he had once tried to shove out of a moving car.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Narrator : On the next Arrested Development, Tobias gets a review of his Shakespeare play.
Tobias Fünke : I didn't get into this business to please sophomore Tracy Schwartzman, so... onward and upward. On...
Tobias Fünke : [Cut to Tobias crying in the shower] Why, Tracy? Why?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Barry has a hooker with him during "Take Your Daughter to Work Day"]
Michael : I didn't know you had a daughter.
Barry Zuckerkorn : I don't.
Charlotte : I thought you wanted me to call you Daddy.
Barry Zuckerkorn : Why don't you wait for Daddy in the car?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Buster reveals that he made George Michael get pot from Gob for him]
Buster : It-it's for my girlfriend. She's sick.
Gob : Why don't you just wait it out? She's gonna be gone soon.
Buster : Oh, that's it.
[starts hitting Gob]
Buster : Why are YOU hitting yourself? Why are YOU hitting yourself? Why are YOU hitting yourself?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[George Sr. has been offered a plea bargain nobody has read]
Michael : All right, listen, this is all getting a little crazy. We cannot accept their conditions if we don't even know what their conditions are.
Barry Zuckerkorn : Do you want to read it?
Michael : No, it is thick. Why don't we just take it.
Barry Zuckerkorn : I could kiss you on the nuts!
Michael : Yeah, well... what?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
George Michael Bluth : So, uh, I've been thinking about that conversation we were having the other night about, uh, where Maeby came from. And uh, I was just wondering if you could finish that thought.
Tobias Fünke : Yes, okay, uh... well, have a seat. Uh... um... when a man... needs to prove to a woman that he's actua- when a man loves a woman, and he actually wants to make love, uh, to her, something very, very special happens. And with deep, deep concentration and, and great focus, he's often able to achieve an erec...
George Michael Bluth : I'm sorry, I'm going to stop you. I know what you mean. I, I didn't mean babies in general.
Tobias Fünke : Oh, well that's good. Because it was about to get a little, eh, gross.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marta : [to a fighting Michael and Gob] What is wrong with you? I thought you were good people. I thought you were noble. I thought you care about family, but you clearly don't. It's over. Both of you. It's over.
Buster : Wait, wait. What about... what about me?
Marta : I'm sorry, I'm not totally sure who you are.
Buster : Wow. Wow. That's what it feels like to get punched in the face.
Arrested Development is Dysfunctional Family love.
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